Every morning I see the same dumb asses on the bus and then on the subway going to work. Is that life the same routine every day it sucks big time.

Today, I found out that my boss of the past two years is named Craig. I've been calling him Greg.

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview.

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

Today, I was informed that I won't be working on a project that I was very excited about. Instead, I'll be helping my boss's nephew 'get settled' into his new office suite so he can start work on the project.

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad.

I work in a grocery store deli. While serving a customer, my co-worker asked my customer if he needed help with anything. He replied 'Yeah, you could get me the number of the cute girl serving me.' I'm a dude. A dude that's getting a haircut.

Today, an old high school friend hired me to work in his grocery store. He dropped out in 10th grade to work at the store more. I just got my Masters.

Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line who looked at me and exclaimed, 'Hey look, its Indiana Jones!', which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, 'No, he's way too fat.'

Today, my Dad laid me off from our family business. He then got angry with me when I wouldn't agree to "help out for free when things get busy on the weekends".